A day that mostly doesn’t occur. Where too much is not happening and very less to do. A bright lazy long day that seemed slow with some serious movements. For a change, I was feeling better and lighter, apparently a strange unknown burden is getting off my mind. For now – at least today it did.
I am accepting today as a benchmark, a normal day as it had neutral emotions. Next days are in agreement with such smooth and minimum thresholds. Moreover, I am trying to be wise and mechanically manage and discard sentiments. This is just a method to differ unnecessary attention and focus on the failures.
With passing time, still feels I am so new, i was never here, i don’t have anything, I have to gather everything. There is so much work to do, the list keeps growing long. I am afraid to set the targets and just want to wait before i define anything. I don’t like listening to fresh starts, all-over-agains, new-beginnings. What about the period lost, I want that to be considered, I wasn’t born yesterday and my time is precious too. I wish, i can have the time insured or refunded.
Recently, someone suggested that i must make an effort so people start accepting me. It really pinched me at the right place. Am i untouchable ! Once a friend said and expressed it so wisely to me, let me quote her, ” I want to be heard and i don’t want to hear you”. So i just try to skip unnecessary free advises. A judgement must not be made unless one has experienced and gone through the situation. May be that’s why many people would rather listen to someone they think is wiser and more experienced than themselves.
There are many things that can bring back the happiness like getting a good job, making good money, losing few extra kilos or even a short vacation. But getting what i want doesn’t bring security. At a deep level, i know that whatever is bringing happiness can be lost and has a potential risk of bringing pain. I am finding out ways to master two magical words, for now – Let Go. As simple as inhaling and holding on to the air – letting it go in order to surpass. These are big words but should not be difficult to handle.