My Inkling

Today is one of those odd days filled with nothing. Absolute blanks and thoughtlessness. Though I woke up to a beautiful sunrise, a perfect dream, and a hot cup of tea. Still I felt Nothing. And I wanted some more NOTHING.

The colors in sky were intriguing, the moon was still flashing bluntly and I was working on my plan for the next month when a thought invaded and I paused. Perhaps, sometimes it is inconvenient and even scary to heed this voice that is often saying something that I don’t want to hear. I know in my own life, my intuition has always served me well – ONLY when I was willing to listen to it.

May be that is one of the reason, I quit being a technical writer, didn’t want to re-establish old connection and never bothered returning to Texas. Whatever I’m facing in my life – a stone cold heart, a bad hair day, a stressful deadline – it always helps to know that once upon a time, there was a beautiful girl who experienced the struggles, heartaches and insecurities and overcame her greatest obstacles with style and a smile. She still continues to do so.

Its late eveningg, Just like heaven is still a repeat on, Hershey’s are over and I haven’t booked tickets for Akcent’s performance. Procrastination. I ordered a double cheese burst Pizza, indulged into a gorgeous chocolate dessert, watched Gone with the wind until the end credits stopped rolling and it was time to do something productive.

I wondered thinking, what happens when all the dreams are fulfilled. What’s next? Well, certainly for sure it can never be stagnant and over. I am feeling a little unsure of myself today, and needed to be reminded that I am just at the right place and self being. That my happiness should be cultivated in the inside before it shows up on my face. If I ever need a helping hand, it will be the one at the end of each of my arms off which one for helping myself and the second for helping others.

At the end of the day, to truly live the life, I am willing to walk away, walk towards the things that my heart is urging to catch or release, often with no evidence other than my intuition to support the only decision. But here’s the thing – It is impossible to go wrong when you actively, doggedly, ardently follow your heart. More often it takes stepping away from the crowd in order to heed that still, small voice…so  finding myself alone out here, I know – it means greatness is near.

Whatever you call – its a woman’s intuition and it has been around since the dawn of time and will live on till the dusk of time. May be the signs were all around but I couldn’t read them. This time it’s better to be bulletproof and relay on self intuition. After all:

“You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.”

                                                                                 – Alan Alda


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