Memoir All Mine


Really, really near. How close are we ?

I feel this is the most busiest and fun-filled time of the year and I feel like quoting – “The year that it was.”  And I begin to wonder..I have seen many of the things I wanted to see and not see this year. Here is a look at some of my  memories (and re-memories of things I have already seen).

It’s the final week before the year ends. People are grabbing their kids, spouses and packing them up to head home for the holidays. I also got myself tad busy. I have been drinking lots of coffee, hanging in my prettiest attire, talking on the phone way too much, shopping for things I always needed,  learning the essentials and eating everything in sight. I might be one of a kind – a girl being happy over gaining few pounds. But believe me, I feel happy and healthy.

It was just yesterday that I left the city, traveled far away, experienced unknowns, accepted everything and came back for the one last time. Though several things I re: exhibit, I never wanted. Again, I was – appearing for the interviews, waiting for the pay check, finding it difficult to sleep,  consciously meeting friends and family, finding myself struggle all over again.

There were instances when my Mom re-assured me that no one can ever help me but Myself. At times, I wanted to give up, I kept telling her that I can’t. But now, after this void, I do not feel that I was long gone. I feel New. I think more I had fallen Down better I Rose. It was just yesterday that –

  1. I bought my favorite pink lilies. (I felt delighted for weeks),
  2. I upgraded my phone. (I don’t know what will my day be without a iPhone),
  3. I used to have unintentional tears for no reason (Now, seems it’s a drought. I am one Cameron Diaz from The Holiday),
  4. I was tired of doing everything alone and needed my fella. (Seems now, I am all setup by myself),
  5. I was being admired by a group of FBI’s at JFK. (Off which one asked for my passport and ended up in my FB profile),
  6. I was playing a snow-angel with my Sister. (Those turned out to be freaky Snow fights),
  7. I was betting at a Casino with my brother-in-law. (And at the security check, the lady-police considered that I had a fake passport and that I am under age!),
  8. I was scared sailing over pacific thinking about tsunami. (I ended up watching a fake You Tube video hitting a Diamond Head!)
  9. I was wanting him so much and now the cutest nephew is all mine. (I always thought that baby girls are the prettiest and  now I know that I was SO wrong!).
  10. I made a wish list and now it is progressively marching a completion. (I wonder, what happens when all the dreams are fulfilled),
  11. I wished to have a perfect new year and valentine day. (None happened but it didn’t matter at all),
  12. I started writing, no sooner I had completed the 100th post and I am still excited about it. (One day, I wish to have a Macbook, a wireless connection and few holidays to write enormously),
  13. I was oceans away. (Now, I am happy home).

I know it has been a long time and feels as if nothing had happened. Even if I was a GONER, I was just here. And knowing this, I smile now. I am all a sudden feeling Happy, at Home and just right Here – Welcoming the New Year.  I am warmly letting this year pass by, on a note that – it taught me Good, made me Strong, gave me finest of the People and helped me become Myself.

I am just waiting right here to grab all my time that the coming year has to offer. With both my hands.

Have a pleasant year folks.

I had the time of my life and I never felt this way before.
And I swear this is true and I owe it all to you.

– Black Eyed Peas (The Time: The Dirty Bit)

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